Relationship Status:
I’ve left but I’m struggling to heal
Length of Relationship:
7–10 years
Types of Emotional Abuse Experienced:
Gaslighting, minimizing my needs, financial control, silent treatment, monitoring and control
Her Story
He made me feel like I was lucky to be with him. Like I wouldn’t make it on my own.
He controlled the money, made all the decisions, and if I disagreed, he’d freeze me out for days. I started doubting my own memory. My own instincts. I stopped sharing my opinions altogether.
The hardest part wasn’t leaving—it was realizing that the version of me I’d become wasn’t even mine.
What Helped
Therapy. And one friend who never gave up on me, even when I pushed her away.
I started reading books about boundaries, writing letters I never sent.
I walked a trail near my house every evening and said kind things to myself out loud, even when I didn’t believe them yet.
What She Wishes She’d Known
That control can look like “care.”
That someone constantly making you doubt yourself is abuse, even if they never yell.
That love shouldn’t cost you your voice.
To the Woman Still Struggling
Your fear is real. But it doesn’t get the final say.
You deserve peace. You deserve to exhale.
And you do not have to prove your pain to anyone.
What Rising Looks Like
I’m learning how to choose myself, even when it’s messy.
I don’t owe anyone my silence anymore.
I’m not just surviving—I’m slowly building a life I don’t have to escape from.
